You're tired of being tired, now what?


The JD Letter

January 11, 2024

"Burnout happens when you avoid being human for too long."– Michael Gungor

The harsh reality is that most of us wake up already feeling exhausted.

But here's the messed up part:

We don't understand why. We don't know what the root cause is. We think another shot of espresso will fix our problem.

That's when things go wrong and without realizing it, we start to live our daily lives constantly on edge. Constantly in rush. Constantly jumping from one thing to the other. Taking 5 minutes to meditate seems impossible. Taking 5 minutes to read a book can't seem to happen. Taking 5 minutes to just breathe and stare at the sky feels like a waste of time.

By the time we realize our daily routine is turning us into robots instead of humans, it feels almost impossible to express it to our equally "robotic" friends and family.

But sadly, we're all in this trap together:

  • get good grades
  • get the best degree
  • get a stable income job

What most of us fail to realize is that when chasing all of these things that society or others expect of us, we tend to lose ourselves. We tend to live a life of constant overwhelm and little to no fulfillment.

When's the last time you woke up and were looking forward to your day at work?

Did you ever even have that feeling?

Here's how to stop feeling ashamed for needing rest (this journey is uncomfortable and it includes vulnerability):

Being busy is destroying your life

"Your body whispers when it needs care. Don’t wait until it starts screaming."– Unknown

You need time to rest and relax.

There is no other option.

Because if you don't, your mental health will do it for you and it won't be pretty.

The problem is most people feel like their to-do list never seems to end no matter how much they accomplish in a day.

Why is this a problem? Because if the above feeling is your reality, you start to feel trapped in your own life, like there's no way out of this cycle. You start to secretly wonder if this is all life has to offer— stress and exhaustion.

The point here is that nothing is more important than your mental health.

If you're constantly living in a routine that's draining the life out of you, you need to stop, rest, and reset. You need to make conscious efforts to transition out of this state of exhaustion and survival mode.

I understand this feeling well because I lived in survival mode for the past 4 years of my life. There was no long-term stability. I lived my days fixing one issue after the other not knowing when I would get to feel safe and calm. It was extremely exhausting and I had to be extremely real with myself. I took a massive step back in life to open up the space for a more calm and stable life. While I'm not where I want to be, things are slowly starting to unfold and my definition of a calm and stable life is much closer than it was before.

All because I made the decision of prioritizing my well-being 12 months ago. All because I stopped feeling ashamed that others would see me as a failure.

If you're looking for the same kind of transformation, you'll have to let shit hit the fan. You'll have to ask for help. You'll have to go back to 0. You'll have to move in with a family member for a while. You'll have to decide to see it as an opportunity to move closer to a more fulfilled you.

But how do you create a plan?

How to create the life you want

"When you stop and look around, this life is pretty amazing. Make sure you take time to notice."– Dr. Seuss

I've lived in Portugal, U.S, Colombia, and the UK.

The lesson I learned the hardest way is that less is more.

What worth is to have the house, the car, the job if you're far away from everyone you love? If you can't step outside to watch a sunset because you're stuck at work late again?

Humans weren't meant to spend 8-10 hours stuck in cubicles or staring at screens.

We're meant to be in contact with nature. We're meant to feel alive. We're meant to express our creativity. We're meant to connect with ourselves and with others.

I think it's safe to say that at the very least you want to wake up feeling refreshed and energized. And in the longer-term you want to break free from the cycle of burnout so you be your best version to yourself and those around you.

There can't possibly be any transformation if you don't stop and listen to yourself.

You won't make any progress until you pay attention to what works and is sustainable for you.

These are the mindset shifts that helped me create a plan and escape the exhaustion trap I was living in:

1) Stop and rest for a while

Stop feeling guilty for needing a break. Be open and honest with those around you, it's liberating.

2) Ask for help or advice from someone you trust

The people in your life that love you will gladly help in any way they can. You have to open up your heart and trust. Life has so many twists and turns. Think about it as someone else landing you a hand now, and maybe one day it will be your turn. That's how life goes.

3) Turn your pain points into something creative

This is how I started writing. Pick up any creative hobby that allows you to express yourself.

4) Be open and willing to change

What got you here won't get you there. If you want different life results, you need different habits.

5) Define your anti-vision

What is the bane of your existence?

What things do you not want in your life?

By writing what you don't want you'll know what you do want.

By adopting these mindset shifts, you’ll put yourself in a better position to stop living in survival mode. And as you progress, your days will feel purposeful.

That's it for today.

Chat next week,

Jess

Inspire, Empower, Transform.

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