What you pay attention to expands
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The JD Letter January 4, 2025 "Focus on the possibilities for success, not on the potential for failure."– Napoleon Hill The average attention span for adults is 8.25 seconds, which is shorter than a goldfish's 9-second attention span. It's a shame that in today's world the average person confuses being busy with productivity. Or worse, they use distractions as a way to escape confronting deeper issues in their lives. No wonder most people end up focusing on the bad and the negative. How can you expect not to do so, if your mornings feel rushed and reactive instead of calm and intentional? It is hard to stay focused on things that are beneficial for us if our attention is constantly hijacked by being in a rush. By being worried. By comparing. This is a trickle down effect that leads to a nagging feeling of emptiness, like you're meant for more, but you don't know where to start. The root cause is that you are busy but not necessarily being productive. You are busy but no closer to your life's purpose. And until the root cause is fixed, 2025 will be the same as 2024. The goal of this newsletter is to shift what we focus on with the intention to drop limiting beliefs. The ones that didn't work in previous years and are keeping us stuck. Because let's be real, no one wants to start another year:
This year can be different. Not by doing more, but by focusing better. What you see is what you receive“Where your attention goes, energy flows.”– Tony Robbins Anyone has the power to shift their focus and choose to see the positive side in every situation. Someone lost their job and had to sublease their apartment so you can go in and have a fresh start. You can choose to see the glass half full instead of half empty. Your long-term relationship ended to create the space for you to find the love of your life. Your flight got delayed so you had time to buy a gift for your cousin. I could go on and on with apparent initial inconveniences like these that happen in our every day life. But events in life are neither inherently good nor bad - they're part of a larger unpredictable flow. When you see life through an equanimity lens and let go of the idea to rush judgment about circumstances, then you can experience optimism. A powerful tool to attract the energy you want, the job you want, the relationship you want, the life you want. I could be terribly wrong. But I don't think there's anything good from living a life full of distractions, comparisons, and negativity. And I know no one does so intentionally, that's just how most humans are wired to think. This is all easier said than done and that is why we're here to talk about it. Mistakes are proof you’re trying“You have power over your mind – not outside events. Realize this, and you will find strength.”– Marcus Aurelius
In an ideal world, when faced with adversity we would ask ourselves: “What’s within my power to influence here?” and focus solely on that. Choosing a constructive response instead of reacting impulsively when we will feel angry is much harder than it sounds. Even now as I write this, I feel like a hypocrite. Because recently, I was faced with a situation that triggered me. And sadly, I was not able to give a constructive response and instead I reacted impulsively. I then beat myself up for it. Why am I admitting my mistake to you… 1- I write to you as I learn, grow, fail, and try to be the best human being I can be 2- None of the letters I write here are to create a false "perfect" expectation from you or I. Both me as I write this, and you as you read it, are going to have our less good moments and that's ok. It is important to learn and grow from them though, otherwise 2025 will be a repetition of 2024. I'm not proud of my low moment mostly because I hurt someone I love. But now I can only use the tools I know help me reset and return to a state of self-awareness. Things like:
Up to my low moment, I hadn't been doing any of these things and I can see now how my energy shifted and so did what I pay attention to. Most people have a set of habits that keep them grounded - assuming you're aware of what those things are. My lesson here is not that people need to be perfect. It is that no one should go more than two or three days without practicing the habits that keep them grounded and self-aware. The more you feel like you don't have time for yourself (because you're distracted), is when you need it the most. And there's absolutely nothing more important than your well-being. This experience served me as a reminder that you can't pour from an empty cup. How and why it's important to remove distractions
There is no right way to stay focused, in alignment, and self-aware. The point is to create a small set of habits that put you in the best position to succeed and keep you at an emotional stable state.
These are habits that help me. But there are two tools that kept me in alignment and less distracted in 2024: 1- Deleting IG during the week: I have adopted this habit for over a year now and it's life changing. This alone has allowed me to 10x my focus just from cutting out unnecessary distractions. Think about it from this perspective: Does scrolling on IG anywhere from 1-3h a day align with your current goals? If the answer is no, please consider doing it. I promise everyone's lives will continue to move on if you're not checking on what they're up to every hour. And you will gain 1-3h back in your day that can be used to any of the goals you're setting for yourself this year. Thanks to this tool, I have written every week for over a year, landed multiple business deals, and figured out a way to monetize my dream of being a writer. While I have so much more to grow and achieve I do see how this alone made me less distracted and kept me more focused. 2- Time block for deep work weekly (or daily if you can) I thrive when I dedicate undivided attention to one high-priority task without interruption. Most days I dedicate time for my writing for 1-2h, but my best weeks are the ones I commit to time block 3-4h over the weekend. If you want to become less distracted and shift what you are paying attention to, time blocking needs to be a non-negotiable.
By time blocking, you are communicating to yourself and those around you that what you're doing is important. What you're doing needs your full attention. This will set boundaries and remove distractions. Habits and tools aren't the same. But tools dictate your ability to execute on your habits. The world is wired to give you more of what you pay attention to. So in the beginning of 2025, as we make plans to:
Perhaps we should begin by controlling what we pay attention to. Because what we pay attention to expands. That's it for today. Chat next week, Jess Inspire, Empower, Transform. P.S Here's a thread for my client on X: It led to:
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