The art of being different

The JD Letter

April 12, 2025

Famous comedian Kevin Hart heard “no” more than most people hear their own names.

He was told he was too short.

Too loud.

Too animated.

That his style was “too much” for Hollywood.

"Early in my career, I was booed off stage," Hart says, "comedy clubs rejected me and TV executives didn't think I had enough talent."

For the first decade of his career, his fans didn’t quite get him.

Kevin Hart said the most important thing early in his career was being okay with people not believing in him. He had to be ok with everyone constantly expressing their disapproval.

After he became a big-time comedian, Kevin talks about how his voice, his delivery, and his presence all make him different. And not in a way people saw as remarkable prior to his success. Nevertheless, by staying true to who he is and shutting down outside noise—is how Kevin became a global brand. A best-selling author. A production media.

The courage of going the other way; to not chase what everyone else is chasing; the art of carving your own path—that's the theme of today's JD Letter.

The only woman in the room

For years, Sallie Krawcheck was the only woman in the room. In board meetings. On earnings calls. At the head of some of Wall Street’s biggest firms.

In a culture where aggression and ego were mistaken for leadership, Sallie led with integrity, data, and empathy. While others played politics, she protected clients. While others cut corners, she asked harder questions.

And she still succeeded.

Even when her values made people uncomfortable. Even when she was fired for standing up for what was right. Even when she was told to be “less outspoken,” “less ethical,” “less emotional.”

She refused.

And years later, that refusal became her power.

She founded Ellevest— a financial platform for women.

A living example of what happens when you stop apologizing for being different and start building from it.

Sallie didn’t succeed in spite of her different approach. She succeeded because of it.

What If Normal Is the Real Problem?

Last year, I met a writer I deeply admire—Mr. Taylin Simmonds.

We met at Manchester airport for about an hour.

Taylin had been traveling for a while, but despite being exhausted he still took the time to meet with a stranger (me).

Here are the highlights of our conversation:

Jess @thejessdanara This is Taylin Simmonds. He is leading the future of writing. I interviewed him in person. Here are 6 of his insights that changed my perspective on building brand: 10:0 AM • Oct 10, 2024 6 Retweets 63 Likes Read 14 replies

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But this week, Taylin shared something that hit me hard:

He almost didn’t post about it. Said the ADHD content online made him cringe—too much of it felt like “vulnerability theatre.”

But after his diagnosis, his truth had to be shared.

He described his ADHD as a brain with two speeds:

• Obsessive passion

• Total indifference

Either he disappears into something with monk-like devotion…Or he can’t force himself to care, no matter how hard he tries.

That friction nearly wrecked his creative life. He couldn’t figure out why his friends could work for 8 hours a day—while he struggled to write a tweet.

Turns out, it wasn’t laziness. It wasn’t poor discipline. It was dopamine dysfunction.

The problem wasn’t him. It was how the world defined normal.

Taylin’s story is a reminder of what it costs us to be different in a world designed for sameness.

I wonder how many more people live their whole lives believing something’s broken inside them. When in reality, the system wasn’t built for their wiring.

You have to learn how to survive other people’s expectations before you can finally build a life that’s true to you.

And that starts with what Taylin said best: “Seek self-knowledge like your life depends on it—because in many ways, it does.”

A Life Lived Out Loud

James Baldwin was never given the luxury of blending in. He was Black. He was gay. He was poor. And he was unafraid to feel it all.

Born in 1924 Harlem, Baldwin grew up in a world that told him his very existence was too much—too loud, too soft, too complicated. So he did what most people fear: he left.

Not to run, but to breathe. Paris became his sanctuary because it gave him space to write honestly about it.

In Giovanni’s Room, he explored queerness with raw vulnerability. In The Fire Next Time, he wrote with the intensity of someone who knew the cost of silence.

Baldwin spoke for all of us who’ve been told we don’t belong. His life was a living refusal to shrink.

That was his north star. And it’s a reminder to anyone walking a different path:

Your difference is your truth trying to live.

I know what it’s like to feel out of place in every room you enter. To carry the weight of being judged.

But I’ve also learned that what sets you apart is what sets everything in motion.

I grew up in a mainly white town—as the only black kid in school, I stood out.

As a teenager, I played basketball at an international level— while my friends were out partying every summer, I was practicing.

In my early twenties, I crossed the ocean with two suitcases and an accent people struggled to understand. I was the outsider. "Jess the immigrant."

Now in my thirties, I write and build my business from a laptop. And still—I’m different.

Every chapter of my life has had the same theme:

You don’t quite fit.

But maybe that’s the point.

"And those who were seen dancing were thought to be insane by those who could not hear the music." To be different, in a society that idolizes sameness, is to move to a rhythm only you can hear. It is not a flaw, but a form of courage—the decision to honor your inner truth over external expectations. - Friedrich Nietzsche

Nietzsche believed the path to becoming who we truly are requires 3 things:

• willingness to stand alone
• rejection of the herd mentality
• the strength to endure misunderstanding

Being different isn’t easy—but when you stop silencing yourself to belong, you start becoming who you're meant to be.

In my journey I've learned quite a lot about being ok with everyone around you expressing their concerns and/or disapproval out of fear. Simply because you don't look like them or you're not doing what they deem important.

The lesson:

Let them.

When people doubt you, question you, talk behind your back, or try to pull you back into a version of life that feels safe to them—let them. Let them judge. Let them misunderstand. Let them worry.

Just let them.

Your energy is better spent building, becoming, and walking your own path. You don’t need to explain, convince, or pretend.

If you read this far, here's one final reminder:

Your path won’t make sense to them. It doesn’t have to. It only has to make sense to you.

Until next time,

Jess

Inspire, Empower, Transform.

P.S.

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