How to destroy your negative thoughts
|
The JD Letter October 12, 2024 “We can complain because rose bushes have thorns, or rejoice because thorns have roses.” — Alphonse Karr Your mind is wired to focus on what’s wrong, not what’s right. Around 80% of your thoughts are negative, and 95% are the same ones you had yesterday. This relentless loop of negativity keeps you stuck, replaying the same doubts, fears, and frustrations on repeat. This isn’t your fault. It’s your brain’s survival mechanism. Your mind was designed to scan for threats, not opportunities. But in today’s world, this ancient negativity bias is working against you, making it harder to see the potential right in front of you. You are not alone. Most people struggle with zooming out of their individual situation so they can't open up to see with a different perspective. Here's the thing: negative thoughts will always pop up. That’s part of being human. The real issue is how we respond. The average person has been brainwashed by society to believe that success and happiness come with a materialistic price tag. They chase status thinking a new car, a bigger house, or the latest tech gadget will magically erase their negative thoughts. On the flip side, investments in personal growth like courses, coaching, or workshops don’t come with an instant payoff. There’s no shiny object to show off. There's no immediate boost to your status. Society doesn’t applaud internal transformation the way it does material success. And if you care about chasing status you most likely fall into the category of having an instant gratification issue. Beliefs like: "I should reward myself with something that makes me feel good right now." This results in you buying the latest apple watch you don't need vs a book, a course, or access to someone that can teach you a valuable skill. If I'm guessing correctly you don't want to seem lame in front of your friend group. You want the instant hit of dopamine. You want to fit in, be cool, be trendy.
But the harsh truth is that every single one of these beliefs are limiting your thinking pattern. But what if there's a way to stop chasing status and take control of your mind? What if you can start to focus on growth, potential, and abundance? My goal for this letter is to share with you some mind blowing strategies that are helping me destroy my negative thoughts. Here's what we're going to talk about:
By the end of this letter, you’ll have the tools to instantly rewire your thinking and start seeing changes in real time. Break your addiction to negative thinking“The happiness of your life depends upon the quality of your thoughts.” — Marcus Aurelius The way you think defines the way you live. Most people default to instant gratification, negative self-talk, and the comfort of staying stuck. This traps them in a never-ending loop of mediocrity. But here's the truth: when you shift your mindset, you unlock personal growth, long-term wealth, and a sense of deep fulfillment. The real question is: are you ready to break the cycle, challenge your habits, and invest in your future? Or will you keep settling for fleeting comforts? Think about your negative thoughts as weeds in a garden. But your positive thoughts are beautiful flowers. Are you going to let the weeds take over, or will you consciously plant and nurture the flowers? If your mind is like a garden, then it requires regular care. It needs consistent effort. Here are 3 actionable steps you can do to start breaking your addiction to negative thinking: 1) Start reframing your self talk:
2) Stop taking everything so seriouslyWe suffer more often in imagination than in reality. Why waste time worrying before the crisis even comes? What does it avail to run out to meet your suffering? You will suffer soon enough, when it arrives; so look forward meanwhile to better things. - Tao of Seneca What if instead of worrying and being stuck in negative thinking patterns you can start looking at life like the game of Tetris? In Tetris, you don’t stress or try to guess what the next piece is. You adapt when it arrives. Life is the same. Obstacles and challenges will come, but your power lies in your ability to adapt in the moment, not in stressing about what might happen. 3) Create frequency illusionI came across the concept of frequency illusion by listening to the Mel Robbins podcast. Frequency illusion occurs when you become aware of something new, and suddenly it seems like you're seeing it everywhere. The truth is things were always there but your brain's negative filter didn't allow you to register. For example: your old car breaks down and you need a new one. You go to the shop and see a few that are ok but you really love the red Honda Civic. You go home and now you see red Honda Civic's everywhere. I know I'm not the only one having this similar experience in the past. So what happens? Does everyone go out and buy the thing you become interested in the minute you become interested in it? No. You simply start to notice it because it became important to you. My point is, if you're stuck in worry and negative thinking, your brain starts to believe that negativity is important to you. And so negativity is all you'll ever notice. Mel Robbin's simple exercise to change this: Start looking for heart shapes everywhere you go. The foam in your cup of coffee, the back of your dog's back, the leaves on the ground. Look everywhere you go on your day to day. What will happen is that you will start finding them. Which shows you have control over your mind if you tell it what to focus on. When I first did this exercise I found a heart shape in less than 5 minutes right in front of me. Your mind is a powerful tool, and it will find exactly what you train it to see. The moment you start shifting your focus from negativity to possibility and from doubt to action is the moment you take control of your life. Make better $999 decisions"Your best asset is yourself. You can become to an enormous degree the person you want to be." – Charlie Munger Most people have been conditioned to value the visible, the material, and the immediate. A $999 iPhone feels justified because it’s a symbol of status. But a $999 course that could give you the tools to build generational wealth feels “risky.” If you want to evolve out of negativity loops you have to start making better $999 decisions for yourself. Stop seeing personal development as an expense and start seeing it as an investment. Every dollar you put into your mind compounds over time. No one ever in the history of human kind has regretted investing in themselves. Can the next $200 concert ticket be replaced with a life changing coaching session? Can the next 4h of mindless scrolling be replaced with setting aside time in your day to learn a skill that can bring you fulfillment? Potentially generate wealth? How far can you get in 3 years by learning how to master one skill? You don't need a new iPhone every year. The fastest path to wealth isn't more stuff. It's business ownership. And ownership starts in your mind. You can start by focusing on small daily habits. Set aside 30 minutes a day for skill-building and mindset shifts. If you’re willing to scroll for hours, you have the time to create wealth-generating habits. When you focus on long-term investments in yourself, you start making choices that align with your goals. No more impulsive decisions driven by chasing status. Reprogram your mind"We don't know who discovered water, but we know it wasn't a fish." - Marshall McLuhan The way you do one thing is the way you do everything is something I have been saying for a while. I thought I was embodying its meaning, but turns out I was wrong. Turns out there are areas in my life I was resisting instead of accepting. I was rushing instead of letting things unfold when it's time. I was doing the the bare minimum instead of giving it my undivided attention. What changed? A meaningful conversation with a stranger who I now consider my friend. He is an extremely humble human being who is very talented in helping people in their inner work journey. He sat there and simply questioned my choice of words when I was describing my frustrations to him. He asked me if there was room for me to outpour things with love vs resisting them. That moment changed me. It led to me finding out that it's not your tasks that drain you, it’s your mindset. You reprogram your mind by giving your energy and intention to every moment, not exclusively the tasks you deem important. Even the workouts you're dreading. Even the job you're frustrated about. Even the daily chores that feel insignificant. You feel off because your character and integrity can’t coexist with half-effort driven by negativity. And deep down, you know it. Every time you show up as Debbie Downer, you’re betraying the standard you set for yourself. I now realize that my positive energy depends on my ability to show up with the same dedication for work as I do for writing. And accepting that's where I'm at in life. By doing this, all of the sudden you can see that the money you're making at the job you're dreading is funding your business. All of the sudden you can see that if you're a great employee, your boss can become your first investor when you decide to leave and start your own business. All of the sudden you can see the positive side of both small and big things. The mundane and the life changing decisions. All of the sudden you can be more patient and be ok with things taking time. All of the sudden you can start treating your mind like your greatest asset. Just as you invest in your appearance or your status symbols, you can start investing in your mindset, education, and long-term skills. I want you to break free from the cycle of comfort and instant gratification. I want you to get away from chasing status and negative self-talk. I want you to let go of taking everything so serious and being more playful. Only then you can destroy your negative thoughts. That's it for today. If you enjoyed reading this, consider sharing this letter with someone you know could benefit from reading it. Chat next week, Jess Inspire, Empower, Transform.
If you are a coach or an athlete and are ready to turn your ideas into powerful stories let’s create together. Book a free call now and let's bring your vision to life. |
