How much is enough?
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The JD Letter January 25, 2025 "There is no truth. There is only perception."– Gustave Flaubert Most people are unhappy, stressed, or anxious. So I spend a great deal of my time following my curiosity to find out what the most common root causes of dissatisfaction are. After countless conversations and observations, here's something I've come to believe: Dissatisfaction is born of interpretation. It’s an individual’s particular thoughts and feelings relating to a particular event that create dissatisfaction. It's not the event itself. Read that again. The dissatisfied human being remains dissatisfied regardless of time, location, and circumstances. It won’t matter if they’re:
The human mind is a label making machine. It doesn’t just experience life—it filters, labels, and assigns significance to every moment. When those interpretations don’t align with our expectations, dissatisfaction creeps in. Here’s the tricky part: Most people aren’t even aware they’re doing it. We think we’re unhappy because of external realities. A rude boss, a shattered dream, a breakup. But if it were only about the external, wouldn’t a change in circumstances fix everything? It doesn’t. And you’ve seen it yourself. The person who chases money gets it, then still feels empty. The one who loses weight looks in the mirror and finds something else to pick on. So what's really going on? I have a few ideas. And I want to share them with you today to see if you resonate with them as much as I do. The grass ain't greener"Wealth consists not in having great possessions, but in having few wants."– Epictetus The bottom line is we need to stop wishing things were different. There’s a reason why famous people and the ultra rich who supposedly "have it all" are often the most unhappy people. They climbed a mountain only to find out the view is no better than the one in their backyard. They moved on only to find out grass ain't greener. Most people fail to realize that satisfaction with oneself is a subtractive process. Instead, everyone wants to get stuff, have stuff and be stuff (get rich, have ferraris, be famous). Meanwhile, scientists are confirming that monks are the happiest people in the world. Now, before you roll your eyes and say, "Jess really? So you're saying let's all be monks now?" I hear you. And the answer is no. What I am saying is that the miserable millionaire wishes he were a billionaire. But the happy monk wishes for nothing. I do realize these are black and white examples but if you're able to apply this to your current situation, you'll be able to notice:
If what you're chasing is costing your health, it's not worth it. I'm not writing this to you to diminish the importance of money or having ambition. We all need and want to make money. We all have goals and dreams we want to achieve. But my hope is that by reading this you consider finding a sustainable way to achieve the things you want. Even if that means you get a little bit less (money, status, fame). Who is happier?
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The solution is simple—we just love to complicate things. 1 - Stop suffering from imaginationIt's human nature to anticipate, exaggerate, and imagine. So most people spend a great deal of their time suffering before the crisis comes. And no, I'm not suggesting we live our life being naive and not preparing for things but think about how much time you spend worrying about things. What good does that do? It would be far more productive to confront the thing that worries you, make a plan to solve it, and let go of worrying about it. But that's not what happens is it? You avoid the things that worry you—so then all you do is worry about it. But something I've noticed from my own experiences is that we only worry about the things that we don't address. The minute we address them, a huge weight comes off of our shoulders. Address it directly. Make a plan with small steps to solve it. Drop it. 2- Sustainability"It is not the load that breaks you down, it's the way you carry it." — Lou Holtz Whatever you decide to go after, find a way to make it sustainable asap. I struggle with this, so I'm speaking from the perspective of someone who knows what it feels like to want to control the outcome of everything they do. But I'm not a robot—and neither are you. If you're anything like me, you have dreams and aspirations. But you haven't learned how to make them sustainable. But here's the harsh truth: There's only so much you can take in a not sustainable way before you break. You can join the project, build the business, get the promotion—but unless you find a way to make it sustainable for you, it won't work. I'm building a business and to stay in the game, I made two critical decisions:
Whatever you're working on, please consider doing the same. These are two practical steps that will end up being far more productive than carrying the weight of things by yourself. You'll never not be dissatisfied if you don't learn how to rest and how to ask for help. You can choose to make money or be famous, but don't lose yourself in the process. The worst it can happen is that you find a way to make things sustainable and be satisfied. Chat next week, Jess Inspire, Empower, Transform. P.S Here's my latest thread for my client on X: It led to:
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